Scott Jenkins

Wow, it has been awhile since I last made a post. I guess my heart just has not been in it. I have let a lot of what is going on in my life really take the drive out of me but for some reason as I sit here tonight a little before 1am something has changed. For the first time in a long time I am really relaxed.

I had a great day! I have some great friends! Dave and Mel thank you so much for opening your house to us today. I just love hanging out with everyone.

There is so much I want and could say right now. Yet I am not going to. What I am going to say is this.

I trust my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ and it is time I stop worrying about things and start living for Him. I don’t know what the future holds but I do know that if I turn my life over to Him that I will be victorious and that truth brings me peace.

It is time for me to get off the mat and fight and with Jesus at my side I know now that I am ready. So in the words of Buffy Summers:

“I am tired and exhausted and am standing on the mouth of Hell and I will be swallowed whole but Hell will choke on me”

I wish life could just be hanging out with friends and having fun but like it says in the Bible there is a time for all things and like it says in Ecclesiastes 3:8 there is a time for war and a time for peace.

I did not want the war but it is here and let me say this I am ready to fight.

My friend Matt Stevens sent me this and I wanted to share it here because it is awesome.

PRAYER AND ACTION

Prayer and action… can never be seen as contradictory or
mutually exclusive. Prayer without action grows in powerless
pietism, and action without prayer degenerates into
questionable manipulation. If prayer leads us into a deeper
unity with the compassionate Christ, it will always give rise
to concrete acts of service. And if concrete acts of service
do indeed lead us to a deeper solidarity with the poor, the
hungry, the sick, the dying, and the oppressed, they will
always give rise to prayer. In prayer we meet Christ, and in
Him all human suffering. In service we meet people, and in
them the suffering Christ.

– Henri J. M. Nouwen in “Compassion

Philippians 3:12-14

12Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. 13Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

Congratulations to both of you on another wonderful year of life together! I hope you both have a great day!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOY!

So I realized I have not posted in awhile so I figured I should give an update as to what is going on.

First let me say this HORIZON TOWSON IS AWESOME!

I loved Horizon Owings Mills but I feel I have found the place that God has called me to be. Our new link group is great! Leading with Jenn and Tali has been such an awesome experience. I am learning so much from both of them and I feel that all three of us work together pretty well. As for the group itself I am so happy to be hanging out with everyone in the group. We have met for only two weeks yet I feel there is a bond already forming with each of us in that we are sharing things in our life together. I can’t wait till these relationships grow stronger.

Also I got to go camping last weekend with some amazing people. We went to Greenspring State Forest and had a great time. I can’t wait to go back. It was one of the most relaxing and enjoyable times I have had in a long time.

I just want to say a quick thing about three really important people in my life. They are Tronster, Aaron, and Rebecca. Not only was camping awesome with them especially the worship time on Sunday but just getting to know them has been so great. I wondered when I came to Towson if I would find people like those in my old Monday night link group where I felt I could sit down and really talk about things and I have to say that I have found it in these three. I love hanging out with them and just want to thank them for just being great and amazing friends. God has blessed me so much by putting them in my life.

Tomorrow we open the skate park. We will be there from 12-5 to be able to offer a time when parents can come and complete the necessary paperwork for their kids to skate and then hopefully we will be able to be open almost everyday after. Please keep this skate park and the future vision for it in your prayers.

Also tomorrow Horizon is having baptisms and I am looking forward to it. I know how powerful mine was for me last September and when we do baptisms I find it to be just a great time of worship.

So that’s what’s basically going on right now. There are some other things that are a little stressful that God and I are discussing but while I am feeling a ton of pressure with some of them I know He will be there with me through them all and that is a promise that makes me confident for the future.

So I hope this update gives some info as to what’s up with me and I will try to not take so long to blog again in the future.

Oh yeah one more thing, Dave Cowan thanks for reading this and commenting on it, I hope to be able to get more people to start reading it in the future.

So there is a lot going on right now. First off let me say that switching to Horizon Towson has been awesome. I have made some really great friends and really have a sense of peace and purpose that I have not felt in a long time. I really feel God leading my life and it is really exciting.

I am involved right now in what I would consider three awesome nights of hanging out and sharing life with such amazing groups of people. On Monday nights is the one group I have always loved the most since I have been at Horizon and that is with Dan, Alicia, Joy and now Leslie, Christina, and Jon. We have been through so much as a group and I can say that these people are great friends that I am truly blessed to have in my life. Dave talked about multiplication yesterday in church which use to be a hard concept for me to deal with because the thought of this group not getting together on Monday nights use to really sadden me but now as I see all the awesome things God seems to be gearing us up for I am somewhat excited to get to the point where we all go after what God is leading us to. Yeah I will be sad to see the group end but I know that all these people will stay my friends and we’ll still be apart of each others lives.

Ah yes, multiplication. This leads me into my Horizon Link Group. I have been so blessed to be involved in such a great link group since I have been at Towson. We have met at Bateman’s and while at times it has been different I still feel the concept works and hope that other groups will take link groups into places that are not always the norm. I also have been so fortunate to be able in this group to build some unbelievable friendships. Dave and Melanie Reichley are two people that from the first time I ever met them I liked them and I am really excited to get to know them better in the future. Dave and Mel thanks for being such good friends and thanks for allowing me the opportunity to become a part of such an amazing group. There are so many other friendships that have developed or grown stronger from this group. Whether it be with Tronster and Banks who are multiplying with us to lead a group on Tuesday’s with Lydia or whether it has been with Dave, Sean, Amy, Greg and Rachel who I have have been so happy to meet as I feel God is using all of us to really do some unbelievable things in the Perry Hall/Parkville community. (more info on all this in a minute) Also hanging out with Rebecca and Aaron later in the nights at Bateman’s has been awesome as well. These are all people I consider good friends and I am enjoying getting to know them all better. Then there are two people that I am glad are friends that I am excited to get to know better and that is my new link group partners Tali and Jenn. I am excited to be leading a group with these two amazing Christians and I can’t wait to get going.

The third group of amazing people that I am hanging out with is on Sunday nights. They include Greg, Rachel, Dave, Sean, Amy, Greg and Jenn, all of which are from our Horizon group along with Matt and Katy Stevens who are just two unbelievable people that God is using to touch so many people’s lives. We get together and just hang out then we discuss the vision which all of us feel God is leading us to which is a skate park/community center/ coffee house/music venue type place in the Perry Hall community. Then we all pray for each other, for friends, for our churches, for others, for our communities, and for this vision. It is an awesome time and truthfully it is probably my favorite part of the week. I want to thank all of them for allowing me to be a part of this amazing group and this amazing endeavor.

Also let me say a quick word about my two new Pastors. Yeah at Horizon we call them staff but Pastors is what they are. Dave and Mark are two guys I have felt really comfortable with and am glad to have both as friends. I really am enjoying Sunday mornings worshiping with everyone.

Other things going on is I am doing a lot of reading. I am almost through 2nd Kings on my journey to read the Bible straight through from beginning to end. I am also going to be reading “The Screwtape Letters” by C.S. Lewis as Horizon will be doing a sermon series on it soon and it might be a cool thing to read and discuss in link group. Also Dave Reichley is starting a book club and the first book is “A New Kind of Christian” by Brian McClaren so I will be reading that. Also our investment partnership has decided to read a book here and there as well and we will be reading “The Successful Investor” by William O’Neil. This group is another amazing group of people and I am glad to be in business with such strong Christian guys.

So basically to sum all of this up my life is getting really busy which is the way I like it. I feel I have had my break and now God is saying break is over it is time to trust Him and go out into the community and make a difference. I am excited by this. I have been through a lot over the last two years and I am beginning to understand God’s purpose for it all and it is really awesome and I can’t wait for each day so I can draw closer to Him.

I have been thinking today a lot about stress. I guess because I feel the most relaxed I have in a while and yet things are busier than they have been. I am excited about this. Back when I was in politics I thrived on being busy and I thrived on the pressure. I always had more than one meeting each night and always felt like I was juggling things. This type of schedule always kept me focused. I now realize how important it is for me to stay focused. I feel invincible when I am focused on something and then that thing becomes the most important thing and I use all of my energy to obtain it. I like this trait about me most of the time except for when the thing I am focused on is not good for me then this trait becomes my biggest weakness.

So with all that said I think I am more relaxed because I have been focusing more on God and what He wants for my life more than what I want for it. I have been making some decisions lately based on not what I might want but on what I feel He is telling me and so far things are going great. This excites me. What if I focus all my energy and time onto Him and what He wants for me? I hope that I am able to do this and that I can stay focused to be able to do whatever it is He has in store for me. Yeah there might be hard times, stress, and pressure but you know what that will be OK. Actually it might be fun to roll up the sleeves and jump into the pressure cooker again because this time I am confident in who is guiding me.

There is so much I could write after this weekend. I got to hang out with friends on Sat night including Cara Shey who was up from NC. I got to go to the Oriole game yesterday with Amanda and two of her friends Kevin and Shelly, it was a great time.

I also got to see this weekend all of the unbelievable ways God is working in my life right now and in the lives of others. On Saturday I got the opportunity to be around for the opening of a skate park in Perry Hall. It was the vision of some people that I am so glad to be able to say are my friends and it is so cool to watch how they have trusted and followed God and now the vision is taking shape. I love Perry Hall/Parkville and it is so cool to see God using this vision to reach out to this community. Then last night I went and hung out with these same friends and we just hung out and shared what is going on in all of our lives and then we spent time just praying and talking to God. It was one of the best nights I have had in a long time and I can’t wait till we do it again. In the presence of a group of people like this that trust in God so much and know with full confidence that He is guiding them has me wanting to go after the things that I feel God is leading me towards. I am so blessed to have met this new group of friends and I look foward to the future as we follow God and reach out into the community that we all care so much about.

Well it has been a while since my last post. A lot has been happening though. The biggest thing is that I am beginning to get a feeling as to what God may want me to do with my life. I have an unbelievable passion growing in me to reach out into the community for Christ. I have started going to Horizon Towson and am so excited to be back involved in the communities I have grown up in. I am going to a link group on Wednesday nights with a bunch of amazing people and it meets in Parkville. It is so exciting. I also have been really thinking about this idea of a nightclub. It is something I have thought about for a while but now am beginning to feel a passion for. I feel God is using my past and my present to prepare me for an endeavor like this. I am questioning why I would consider leaving the comfortable that I know to go after something that so many people tell me can’t work and as I do I feel more and more confident that if it is what God wants that it will. I was reading a book this past week that talked about JFK and his bold prediction that even though we could barely get a spacecraft into space in 1961 that by the end of the decade that we would land someone on the moon and return them safely to earth again. What a dream and in 1961 it seemed impossible. But you know what we did it as on July 20, 1969 it was accomplished. When he announced this bold vision he said “We choose to go to the moon not because it is easy but because it is hard”. As I think about that I realize what an awesome thought that is and how much I like trying what people say can’t be done. So as I think about my desires and dreams and as I talk to God to see what He has in store I am feeling more and more excited to try something that is hard knowing that if I trust God and use what He has given me that it can and will work. Will it be a nightclub or will it be something else? I don’t know yet but stay tuned because I think whatever path God leads my life from here that it will be exciting.

My mom called me last night and told me that a really good friend of mine (actually he has been like another grandfather to me) from my old church is very ill. He has a bad heart and there is nothing the doctors can do for him. They are saying that God could take him at anytime. I called the house and talked to his wife and told her to relay to Mr. Dick how much I love him and if there is anything I can do to please let me know. It is in these times that I feel so helpless. I wish I could do something and I know I can’t. However I can pray and have and would ask anyone reading this blog to lift Mr. Dick and his family up in prayer to God.

Last night I went with Dave Reichley and a bunch of his friends to Annapolis. It was cool to hang out with a bunch of great guys and just drink some beers, eat some wings, and just discuss various topics. I will not divulge any more info because I have been told what is said at the smoker stays at the the smoker and I think that is cool. It was a great night and I am looking forward to doing it again.

It also brought back some great memories. I use to spend so much time in Annapolis hanging out like that discussing politics and I realized last night how much I enjoy just hanging out with people and having good discussions. I hope to do it more.

This weekend was really great! On Friday night I went to dinner with Dan. We then went back and hung out with Alicia. It was a fun night. On Saturday I got up and read a lot from this book “Christianity Rediscovered” by Vincent Donovan. It is about his time in Africa as a Christian missionary. I am now about half way through it. I am really enjoying it as it is showing me some areas where I can learn and then apply some of the things I am learning. Then I went to Dave Cowan’s for a study on how the Bible came to be. It was very interesting and informative. I also got intriqued by the thought of learning Greek. Should I? or I quess Could I? is the better question. Oh well maybe one day. After that I hung out the rest of the night just enjoying the weather and enjoying the company of some friends I have not really hung out with for awhile. It was a great time.

Then yesterday was Church. I loved the service and I love the songs Jon and Carrie Lewis have written. I can’t wait to they come out with a CD. Then a bunch of us went to the food court and then Chase, Julie, Amber, and myself went and ate ice cream outside at Baskin and Robbins. After that we went to Elizabeth Cowan’s 4th birthday party. It was a lot of fun and I just want to thank the Cowans for the invite and a great time. I also got a chance to sit and talk to Mark Stephenson. I really enjoyed the conversation. I really enjoyed his preaching on Easter Sunday and he is definetly someone I would like to get to know more. After the party a bunch of us went to Quizno’s and then to a park where we just hung out together outside, the weather and company was great.

So that was my weekend. It was great and a lot of fun!

So today’s Monday and I am looking forward to our link group getting together tonight. I love hanging out with my friends and the people of this group truly are really great friends that I am blessed to have in my life. So I hope everyone else reading this had a great weekend and I hope you all have a great Monday!

OK so I saw everyone else’s critiques on our days of fasting from criticalness and I figured I better write something. I like everyone else experienced a lot of the same things and I would like to do it again sometime and see if it gets easier. I also am looking forward to discussing all this with everyone on Monday.

As for other things going on I need to write this next stuff. How it will sound I don’t know but I hope it comes out like I have intended.

Over the past year and especially the last nine months I have really lost a lot of my confidence in myself. I have felt very insecure and really unworthy of the great relationships I am experiencing in my life now. This is such a change from how I lived the first 29 years of my life. Normally I had the other problem of being overconfident and arrogant and I let my ego at times get out of control. However I also thought anything was possible and I felt like I could do anything. While I don’t miss being ego driven or arrogant I do miss the confidence I had in me that I was a good person and that I could do anything. As I reflect on some recent conversations I realize now really for the first time that Jesus is there and that He is confident in me and that all these friends that I am so worried about liking me really do and all they want is for me to just follow Christ and to be myself. That last part of be myself does scare me a little because like I said I have lost confidence in who that person is but I do feel God is saying just be the person I created and trust Me and together you still can do anything. SO I THINK IT IS TIME TO GET UP OFF THE MAT AND LIVE THAT WAY! SO HORIZON, BALTIMORE COUNTY, AND EVERY OTHER PLACE I INHABIT HERE I COME.

I am tired of this insecurity, this fear that I am not good enough. It is time to reengage. It reminds me of the scene from Top Gun - where Tom Cruise was this cocky pilot that did things his way and felt he could do anything yet his life crashed around him when his friend was killed in an accident that he blamed himself for. It turned him into nothing and he could not be who he really was. Until finally in the heat of the battle as he is running away he speaks to his friend and he believes he must not run but fight and then all the old skills are there and better and he is back. I feel I have experienced a lot of these same emotions and that now it is time to get back in the fight. I believe that God has put this roller coaster of the last nine months there to prove to me that He is God and that if I trust Him that everything will be fine but that I can’t coast through it wanting what I want but that I have to want what He wants and I have to be willing and confident enough to fight for it.

So here I am 30, Single, and a Christian and I am ready to go. I want to fight again for our city (which to me includes Balto Co.). I want to spread the message of Jesus Christ and I want to learn more effectively how. I also want to live in the comfort of knowing that I, like everyone else, does matter and I want to be the person God has created me to be.

For a little while now I have tried to make up for mistakes or lost time and you know what I can’t. I can just ask and hope that those I have hurt will forgive me and will look past all the junk to the person God is molding me into. I feel confident that thanks to His son Jesus Christ that He has.

Now I know I can be loud and talk a lot (just check out the Jeff Mount vs. Scott Jenkins Silence-Off) but guess what that is who I am and while I will try not to be obnoxious I want this confidence back. I have people tell me that I flip flop or sway in my opinions based on others thoughts and that is not me and I now realize that I need to be strong in what I believe and what I feel God is leading me to. Now I know I have a lot to learn and need to change some things but I also need to feel sure in saying what I feel also.

So blah, blah, blah - Where is all this going? Well I think it is leading here - I feel ready to follow God and I feel comfortable with who He is leading me to be. I am done with the insecurity of the past and am ready to run and dive head first into the future as I know God as well as all of my friends are with me and you know what that is all the confidence I need!

30 Years ago today my parents had me baptized. Obviously I don’t remember the event but I grew up knowing the date and seeing pictures and hearing about how it went. This day is and always will be a special day to me. However it is more special this year because last September I made the decision to be baptized. On September 19, 2004 I was baptized again not because I had to be but because I wanted to be. It was one of the greatest moments of my life. To be able to stand there in front of my friends and proclaim my faith in Jesus Christ was awesome.

Two years ago at this time I was really struggling with things in my life and if you would have told me that two years later I would be doing the things I am doing now and that I would have been baptized again I would not have believed it. I have met some cool people along the way that have led me to this point and I know God has orchestrated everything. Still everything has not always been easier and in a lot ways it at times has been harder. I have started to lead with my heart and not my ambition and brain and for the first times ever I have left myself vulnerable and at times I have been hurt. I have experienced the highest of highs and the lowest of lows but as I have reflected about somethings over the last few weeks and had some tough conversations with people I have come to the conclusion that if I had it to do all over again I would. Obviuosly I wish I had some decisions back but I am feeling stronger each and every day now that God is using all these things to mold me into what He wants me to be and if it has taken all the hurt and pain as well as good times to get me on this track to Him then yes I can say it has been worth it.

I know I have more of the journey to take and things will not always be perfect but I am refinding myself each day now and I am growing in the confidence that God loves me and that Jesus is always with me and it is a great feeling.

So back to my original thought on baptism. Thirty years ago my parents had me baptized. No two people could ever mean more or do more for me than they have. Over the last two years no one has meant more to me than my friend Joy, who was the one that baptized me last September, and all of my other friends from my Monday night link group. I bring this up because it is so comforting to know that God uses the people most important to us to bring us to Him. I know it has all not happened by luck but because He is guiding things. I know He is there with me now and for all eternity and it is a wonderful thing to know.

Last night I hung out with Dan and Alicia and we played Trivia Pursuit, drank beer, and ate peeps and muffins. It was a great time. Also congratulations are in order for Alicia as she won the game. Thanks Dan and Alicia for a fun night.

Happy Birthday Alicia! Hope you have a great day!

Happy Birthday Leslie! Hope you have a great day!

HAPPY EASTER!

JESUS CHRIST IS RISEN!

Yesterday was awesome! I got the privilege of being able to get together with two really terrific people and we discussed visions, dreams, and basically what we felt God was leading us towards in our lives. I woke up this morning really energized to recommitting myself to where I feel God is leading me. I realize that this means taking the time to be patient to find this out but it is exciting to think about how fun the process will be as I get to draw closer and closer to Him. I do feel He has led me to Horizon for a reason and that this is where I am suppose to be but Why? This question has bothered me in the past but now it is beginning to excite me. Why has God put me here at this time and in this place? I don’t fully know yet but I am excited to see what plans He has in store for me. I am realizing that I need to stop asking what my vision is and start asking Him what His vision is for me. It is time for me to start living freely in the power of the gift of faith He has given me knowing that if I believe in Him and His son Jesus Christ that He will take care of me. What an awesome revelation! Now I just pray that I can stay focused on this when that first hurdle comes.